Written by Florence Mary Masotti in 2010.
The Floozie is the most misunderstood member of our society. Contrary to popular thought they come in both genders, male and female. Both are great friends, dragging their non-Floozie friends out to play and encourages them to take chances that they never would alone. More than one Floozie has been responsible for some of the best friendships and marriages in the world. They might even be responsible for some that were not the greatest.
The male Floozie is often gay, loving women as friends and being a great friend when your heart has been broken by some man. They hold you and whisper, “haven’t i told you a thousand times that all men are pond scum”. But he doesn’t mean it for in the next breath he is telling you that you have to kiss a lot of toads before you get a handsome prince. They often dress better than their female counterparts and are brutally honest when you have dressed yourself in a style that does not become you. But they often can whip out their sewing machine and alter that two hundred dollar mistake and make it work for you.
Male and Female Floozie’s often hop from flower to flower looking for the right flower with which they can make their home. The Floozie never gives up. They know that if there is a pile of crap, then there has to be a pony somewhere. They are loyal, intelligent, have more friends than anyone on the planet and can be counted on in both good and bad times.
The straight male Floozie can sometimes be trying to their partners. They love women but are found mostly in the company of men, as few women will go cliff jumping and sky diving with them. They are true blue when they find the love of their life but sometimes forget that the female who is not a Floozie has a hard time to understand that a full minute hug with an old friend means only that it is good to see you and i have missed your energy. They think nothing of going out in the middle of the night to pick up a friend who has had too much to drink and bailing him out of jail, then bringing him home to sober him up before he takes him home to his wife. They will give you the shirt off of their back and will be the first one there with his hammer, snow blower or mower when you need that kind of help.
All Floozies have itchy feet. They have to see what is on the other side of everything and that is why they usually end up going before non-Floozies into the hereafter. But they hang around trying to keep you going forward in life’s adventure. The really well-honed Floozie can often make their presence felt from both sides of the veil with wonderful results. They understand tears but enjoy the laughter the most, knowing that it is healing. That is why at funerals and weddings they will often tell the most inappropriate stories about the deceased or the bride and/ or groom.
Being a Floozie myself, and having many Floozie friends, I thank God for them everyday and hope that you all will treat the Floozies in your life with a little more understanding, kindness, respect and compassion. If you do, you may just find out that you, yourself are a Floozie, too.